So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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