Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
