this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
