I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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