i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
