She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
