you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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