Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
