shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
