It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
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