guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
