ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
