I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
