Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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