Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think my fart just growled at me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
