o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
