porn star boner night. come get it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
