hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
