He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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