Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
