I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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