So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
