Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
