Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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