I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
