Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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