Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
