Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
