I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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