So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
