We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
