I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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