I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
