my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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