Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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