3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
