are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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