help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
