after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Who died my cat blue again?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
