Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
