It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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