the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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