Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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