i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
