the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
