I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
