it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
