Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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