I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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