I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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