Your mouth is God's brothel.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
