ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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